The emotion of anger is not always a negative feeling to experience. In fact, being angry in some ways can be a positive outlet and something that should not be ignored. However, having rage inside that results in harmful tendencies towards yourself or other people, is not healthy at all. This type of anger should be dealt with before it escalates into more negative experiences and consequences that are damaging to your school, work, relationships, and life in general.

Challenge Irrational or Distortive Thinking


  • When your temper begins to flare. What does it do:
    • Mentally challenge yourself before taking out your anger on others ask yourself these questions:
      • What is the source of my irritation?
      • What is the degree of my anger?
      • What is the other person’s actual role in the situation?
  • Turn the circumstances around to see how you would want to be treated if the other person felt as you do. These questions can help you regain control over runaway emotions before they escape and cause external damage.

Specific Techniques

While it is important to develop your own style for managing your anger and aggression, consider how the following techniques might help you.

  • Walk Away
  • Wait, Count to 20 Before Saying Anything
  • Write out a response so you have time to think through what you want to say versus reacting irrationally
  • Keep a Diary or Journal to Get Negative Emotions Out
  • Exercise
  • Take Deep Breaths
  • Try to Negotiate
  • Talk About How You are Feeling
  • Practice Mindfulness
    • 5-4-3-2-1 (Think about: 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste)